I wrote this back in 2006 when I was knee deep in our situation. No post I could do now is going to capture my feelings quite like these old poems I found, so here's the first of them:
Buddy System
This is when things get awkward.
When I start wishing
That pat on the back was a caress,
Wishing your co-conspirator wink
Meant there was more
Than just a joke between us.
Wishing you could see me
As more than a friend.
I have grown to hate
So many words because of you.
Pal, amiga., homegirl
Just seem so inadequate
To describe our relationship,
Or at least the one I wish we had.
What does it take
To make you realize?
If I left your favorite candy
Outside of your door,
Would you remember
That I'm the only one
Who really knows what you like?
Should I leave you a note?
Check only one box:
Yes or No.
Or should I just take you by the hand,
And tell you, old buddy, pal, friend,
That I have something to say.
I have been there, and it's excruciating. Nothing feels worse than feeling love alone...
ReplyDeleteI'm older and crustier now. *lol* I can't see myself letting it happen again, but I don't regret it. I learned a lot.
ReplyDelete